Part 1: The Awakening

If you don’t know anything about pain, it often can be a extremely transformative force. Most people equate pain with something negative. But, there’s something to be said about experiencing a tremendous amount of pain and it not consuming you. For myself, I’ve found that in pain is where my true strength is discovered. It’s in the twisting and aching of a painful moment, that I came to discover who God truly is.

In my life, I’ve experienced some extremely painful moments. Molestation. Abuse. Lust. Betrayal. Rejection. These words haven’t made me bitter. They haven’t made me curl up into a ball and hide. They haven’t prompted me to give up. Each one of these words has served a real and incredible purpose in my life. Each one of these words have broken down some part of me so much so that the only one I could rely on was Him. I’ve learned that true strength lies in the arms of the Father. True strength is found in the beautifully broken moments; the moments of shame, guilt and sadness.

I’ve come to a place in my life where I’m not ashamed of what I’ve been through anymore. I’m not falling victim to a victim mentality. I’m not so damaged that I’ve convinced myself I can’t be used for His work. This was only achieved after years of sleepless nights, feeling undervalued and unimportant. Years of wasted time trying to fit in and be liked. Night after night of tears and snotty tissues asking God, “Why is this happening to me, again?” It was after years of awkward conversations and embarrassing moments. Years of sitting alone at the lunch table and attending school dances “stag”. Honestly, it wasn’t until very recently that I could look into a mirror and actually like what I see without nitpicking every stretch-mark and pimple.

What I realized is that as a daughter of the King, my self worth and acceptance could not be found in my personal appearance. It can’t be defined by how many awards I have or how many gigs I book. It isn’t found in my job title at work. It’s not in the level of happiness I have in my marriage.

It’s in Him.

He defines my created value. He redeems my spirit. He molds my character. I am beautiful in His eyes. I am worthy in His eyes. I am everything I am supposed to be and then some if I keep my focus on Him instead of on me. He taught me that I am a warrior whose weapons are only supplied by the artillery of Righteousness. He showed me that what happens to me is not always happening because of me. Nothing that ever happens to you, no matter what it is, has the power to destroy you. NOTHING. Your value doesn’t lie in the culmination of your life’s events. Your true value can only be discovered in the trenches; the horrific experiences that have been sent by the enemy to overtake you and overthrow your destiny. Your human strength alone is not enough to bring about any real change within your life. If you’ve lived long enough, you’ve more than likely found this out the hard way. Our own efforts are fleeting. Our own strength is ineffective. Our choices usually don’t lead us back to the Father. We are self absorbed, self assured, self defining and self projecting.

But, He is Love.

And we were made in His image. We are chosen royalty in the eyes of the Father. We are never failures. We are never mistakes. We are never an inconvenience. We are never a bedevilment. Not in the loving eyes of the Father. Over the past few months, God has taught me just how real and powerful His love really is. He has taught me the importance of putting myself aside and putting on the mind of Christ. I’d like to share some of the revelations He’s shared with me about Himself. Things I was unaware of for far too long. If you follow my posts on ViZion United, this series will seem akin to it. But, the difference will be in the stories, the context and the scenarios used. My hope is that you’ll get a stirring in your heart to discover the secrets of the Father like I did, or that you’ll just enjoy a different perspective on the matter.

If you feel led, please like, comment and share this blog with your loved ones.

Get ready for the transformation.

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